Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Successes and Failures

Today I'm feeling sort of strange. I have these headaches that come and go lately and I think they are stress related, but I'm not totally sure. I spend a lot of time thinking in my car or laying in bed about how I can be better at this. I am plagued by perpetual disorganization... even when I am running on all cylinders actively trying to fight it. My biggest failure in life, I think, is my complete lack of organizational skills.

I feel like an island a lot. I don't have a lot of contact with administration and I can tell many teachers consider me "nonessential" to the staff or the environment of the school. Of course then I feel rejected... I'm just as legitimate of a teacher as you are. I went to school just like you did. I can write a lesson plan that would blow your shorts out of the water. Do I want to be a classroom teacher? Sometimes. I'm starved for that feeling of legitimacy, for whatever reason.

But, I do have to say this... even though I don't have a classroom, I don't have a "team" at either school I teach at, I don't have that sense of legitimacy and superiority... I do walk into a classroom to cheers and applause. Every. Single. Time. I do have TWO entire schools singing my name in the hallway. I do love these kids, and I can tell they like me, as well. This is what's important. Not the politics in the building, the cliquey teacher idiocy. I am a good teacher. I am totally disorganized, and it takes me FOREVER to do things, but damn it if kids don't like me and love art and have a chance once a week to do something FUN and CREATIVE than what's the point?

 My next posts are going to be some pictures of displays and projects we've been working on. Still trying to hang stuff from WEEK ONE. Everything takes forever...

-Mrs Marlow

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