Last week was the most challenging week of my adult working life. I had my first class spiral completely out of control, and could not for the life of me resuscitate my plans. It's a kindergarten class of 32 kids, and one kid derailed EVERYTHING and it became a complete circus. Did I mention everyone had scissors and glue while they were going totally ape? It was awful. I felt so helpless and defeated... and still had to teach for two more hours.
I also realized how terribly inept my system of organization I designed for myself was, and just spent 8+ hours today redoing everything...not even done yet, honestly.
I got (gently) reprimanded by the district for not entering any grades into our electronic grading system yet. I wasn't aware I had to do it weekly. So now I am two weeks behind doing that...
I also got a really nasty bout of stomach sickness on Friday and had to pound through my day while fighting the urge to vomit all day long... and of course it was 90+ degrees out. It was hairy... I felt incredibly lightheaded the entire day. After my 2nd grade class, I went into my office and put my head down on the paper cutter and passed out for a bit... and missed half of my lunch duty on accident. Nothing like hearing your name being rudely blared on the PA to REPORT TO THE CAFETERIA IMMEDIATELY to make you feel like a total nimrod.
Of course, there is the perpetuating rumor that I will be reassigned again and have a third school added to my rotation, bringing my total number of students to somewhere around 500, maybe more. I haven't really done the math yet, but I know at my main school, our enrollment is right around 400, and I teach every student there. Plus six classes at another school. On one hand, I understand the nature of being a support teacher and am willing to do whatever it takes for the greater good. On the other hand, keeping up with 500+ projects and grades is going to be a disaster. I also have this maybe wistful and silly want to be a part of a school community, to run maybe an art club or do a school play or something like that... and with my time being spread so thin, I am realizing that for this year, it is unlikely I will "belong" the way I want to.
I am just starting to realize the amount of work that this year is really going to take from me. This coming weekend I am going home (to Chicago) to see my family for probably the last time until the holidays, and I am stressing because although it's Labor Day and I will have that extra day... I anticipate I'll have another 12 hours of planning and grading to do next weekend. Finding time to navigate through all of this stuff is scary and difficult. But I'm managing.
I did learn one thing that really boosted my spirits from one of my colleagues/teacher girlfriends this past week. The original school that I interviewed at (School 1) and was originally assigned to be at as the "primary" art teacher is now my "secondary" assignment. When I found out that the district was able to just move and push people to wherever, I was so upset. I loved the principal at that school (the woman who hired me), and had really strong desires to be there. The staff all seemed positive and have a great repertoire. Plus, I have a classroom there. Well, it turns out that the powers that be in the district did what they would, but I was pleased to learn that there was a genuine fight by the principal and other staff at School 1 to keep me, and that they were VERY disappointed that they lost that battle. Silly ego stuff, I know, but it made me feel like less of a commodity to be pushed around by the blind eye of the district, and more like a "Real Teacher."
It's 10:15pm right now... Sunday... still working on plans for this week. I have adjusted and readjusted my units for every grade about ten times already in two weeks.
I just keep repeating to myself "Everything is going to be okay...."
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